181013

-When you tried so hard but no one cares.

Life (?)

Negative feelings lingering in my mind ever since noon. Tried to cheer myself up but it wont barge.. So here i am, feeling so upset and everything..

i really cant this issue has been bothering me everywhere i go. Being the odd one out, or in simple terms, the "extra". Has been experiencing since secondary and so, the problem probably lies within me..

Well, i still dont know. Maybe i am really the extra. And whatever comes out from my mouth wont be trusted.. period

Depressing thursday

I just hate expectations and hopes and promises. Cause apparently i feel damn upset/angry/disappointed/irritated/ ______ (-insertnegativeemotions) when any of these ingredients is missing..

YES. I hate promises. Or rather, broken promises. When you promise something, make sure you jolly well stick to it. Dont go haywire and give all sorts of excuses. I have experienced upteem times of these stuff but i still let my guards down. In the end, what do i get? An aching heart, puffy eyes, draining mind. Is this what you want from me? If YES, then i shall fence myself up from now on.

And so, you might be wondering why im posting all these sort of nonsense. But yea. Thats it. I got enough. Couple phone?! Not like you ever going to change your snail phone. Been hinting you countless times  and you took like a passing remark.. saying you try your best to change. When in acyual fact. You dont even want to change your phone..
《Get the point, dude. If you dont wish yo change it. Just admit it from the start.. and dont ever mention anything about "oh i saw this phone selling so cheap.." yea. Like you going to buy it.... -.- 》

HOO-OOOOLLIII-DAYS(?)

Hi guys. (Quick update before i head for dinner)

So, basically, im currently having my 2 months vacation. But sadly. 1 month is almost up..): and whats more. Results will be out into like less than 60 hours... *super scared but i really hope i have decent grades!

Moving on... had been trying to find work to kill my spare time. But seems like the work were all too short for me. 1 or 2 days of work and lepak time came again.. but currently, im applying for this donut job which i do hope i get it! If i do, I might get to work with syahidah and kai! ^^ (double happiness)

Quick update for today (posting this cause its one of the rare times i meet up with my sec bestie!) Alright.. so, me and sya went to the donut interview and to cut it short, we had lunch and a mini shopping around the mall. Haha. For lunch, we had fish mahattan market.. apparently, we ordered 4 people's share for 3 of us. Following, we got this free set because the waitress got the order wrong! So all in all, i  ate like super lots of good foodd despite being sick.. oh well. Yolo /:

Thats the end i guess! Shall dash for dinner now. (:

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Just cant stand being treated as a norm.

Given that special status means you are given special attention. Not jealousy anger or anything. But attention. Why must u give those special attention to other random girls. And show your friendly self? So that the special person would feel jealous and mad over you? Is it even worth it? Worth it to make a friend and forgo your special person? If thats the case. Go ahead and talk to morw random girls. And dont blame anyone for the consequence. Your actions were the one that determined her attitude towards you.

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insecured

Which girl likes her guy to give attention to other girls? Which girl? Name it.

99.9% you cant name it. Why? Cause no one likes their another half to be stolen.. so why cant people stay loyal to one person? Why must they flirt around and make you lose trust in them? And why is it that. When you tell them that their actions is disturbing. They dont care? They disagree? They get mad?

So by doing so. Are you trying to conclude that its okay to flirt when you have the other half. Its okay to get a jealous partner. Its okay to enjoy life with other people? Well. If thats the case. Dont get yourself involved in a relationship. Then you hurt your partner? Why make him or her hard to survive the day cause of ur selfish insensitive act?

My point is that. No one deserve to have this feeling. You want to manipulate people and make them have this feeling? Then go try it urself. Put yourself in their shoes. See how it is to have that lousy feeling..

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tell me.

This shit is happening all over again..
Same sport. Same thing happening. Thought it just me feeling paranoid in sec sch. But no. The same thing is happening again in poly..

Was not being selected even though i said anything.. worse still? You two  participated. And its okay if you guys join without me. Im cool with that. But? Keepig me in dark? Like this is how u should treat your friends.

I tried my best. I really have enough. You guys want leave me out. Go ahead. I will just fall sick on those days and stay at home. Lead my anti social life. Its alright. Really. Since im always being excluded..

Through this thing happening. I really know who to look out for. And who to support. And one of them is tobey. She listened. Gave me advice and comfort me. But sad to say. She is the only who did that. NO ONE ELSE DID.
So  im greatly to have her in my life. :') at least that was one person that make me think twice before punching the wall.

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